Names changed for insecurity's sake.

Isaac,

This is stupid and fucked up. To give you any idea, I need to start from the beginning: Last year, in February.
Matthew and I were on the rocks. My first real realtionship was falling apart after two and a half years.
March, Last year: Ashland trip is coming up. I've gone to ashland every year, and this year would be no exception, or so I thought. Other people got paperwork turned in before me, I'm turned away from going to Ashland, the thing that I expected to save my relationship.
May, Last year: Ashland happens. Matthew goes and cheats on me, down hill from there. Some how it wasn't until June (when he had cheated on me with two other girls in addition) that we actually broke up. (What were we thinking?)

I AM DETERMINED TO GET TO ASHLAND THIS YEAR.

This February: I get the forms the fist day, and get everything signed by the end of the week. My parents start saving up money for me, and I am accepted for a half scholarship. In going to get my teacher's signatures, they inform me that I need to wait until third trimester starts, as Ashland takes place in third trimester. It makes sense, so I decide to wait.
Last Friday: I over hear Matthew on the bus going home saying that one of his stupid friends was turned away from Ashland because Wednesday was the deadline. This can't be right. I write out a very thoughtful few paragraphs explaining why I deserve to go over the weekend, and my mom aggrees to give me the money straight up.
TODAY: I go to Jan (teacher in charge of Ashland). No available spots. I tell her the whole story, how my life has just beengoing downhill for months, and the best ican get is 6th on the waiting list. No one EVER drops out of Ashland. Theres no way I can go. I'm not going to get to see the five plays, despite the fact that most of the other people going have absolutely no appreciation for theater whatsoever, and they would be terrible MLC representatives.

I have my head on a desk in my science room, couting the seconds until I can just go to sleep tonight. Elliot thinks he's helping by hugging me, but he's not. My Anatomy and Physiology teacher, Sarah, is wearing the same thing she wears everyday, and she has her hair tied back just the same. I am so pissed off, and all I get is the static looks from strangers, or the sympathetic (but more pathetic) looks froom students, and the careless looks from teachers. I miss Louisa a lot.

I can't believe I'm fucking sending you this. No judgements, and just know that I'm not quite myself right now. See, I'm even skipping class. I haven't done this since seventh grade (at least). Fuck.

-K